How to find the right therapist for your ADHD struggles
And why therapy hasn’t worked for you.
Maybe you’ve been to therapy for years, and it just hasn’t worked. Maybe you’ve even tried several different therapists without anything to show for it.
Or maybe you’ve been reluctant to even try therapy, because what if it doesn’t work?
And I completely agree. It SUCKS to spend money on something that doesn’t work for you. And that’s just the thing… the reason therapy hasn’t been working is likely that you haven’t found a therapist with the right therapy modality for the issue you’re experiencing.
Therapy isn’t just therapy. Therapy can be a lot of different things — it can be movement therapy, somatic therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. And different types of therapy can treat different issues, like rejection sensitive dysphoria, emotional dysregulation and shame, and you need to find the right method that treats your specific issue.
When you have ADHD, you’re usually experiencing a combination of issues, so even if a therapist lists ADHD on their website as something they excel in, they might not be able to help you out with your specific issue.
So this is a bit of a cheat-sheet for you. Look for the issues you’re experiencing in the downloadable sheet below, and I’ll get into a few different types of therapy that help you out.
Download the sheet here:
Disclaimer: Take this advice with a grain of salt. This is not an exhaustive list - and it doesn’t contain every single issue a person with ADHD might have. However, it contains some of the most common emotional issues that come with having ADHD.
We all have different backgrounds, experiences and needs. What works for someone else might not work for you. For example, if you’re not an artsy or visually expressive person, maybe art therapy isn’t for you.
Different types of therapy helps you manage different sides of an issue, and since you’re a complex being with complex issues (because ADHD is complex), you might need several different types of therapy at different times to get to the root of the issue.
Self-work takes time - and for most it’s a life-long commitment. It’s completely normal to go to a therapist for months to a year to work on one issue, then take a break for a few months or years and then find a different therapist (with a different modality) when something else pops up that you want to work on.
There’s no shame in changing therapists when you’ve learned what you can from one therapist, and want to try out a different modality to help you out with a different nuance of your mental health.
Personally, I’ve tried several types of therapy: Dance therapy, attachment-based therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, somatic therapy, emotion-focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy etc. – and they’ve all added a piece to the puzzle for managing my ADHD.
Below here, I’ll explain a bit about the different types of therapy I’ve mentioned in the cheatsheet. Remember to do your own research on the different types of therapy to make sure they fit your needs.
There are a lot of different types of therapy out there, and I’ve plucked out a few of them, because I believe they are particularly useful for the issues a lot of people with ADHD experience.
The types of therapy I’ll be describing all fall into one or two of the categories below, which I’ve found to be true statements about making a change with ADHD:
You can’t shame yourself into making a change.
The most profound change comes from working through the body.
Suppressing emotions instead of working through them is a HUGE issue in managing ADHD efficiently.
Our early life experiences have an impact on our ADHD symptoms.
Our relationships have a profound impact on our ADHD symptoms.
Attachment-based therapy
Focuses on how early relationships shape current behavior and emotional patterns. Helps you build secure, trusting connections in adult relationships by healing attachment wounds that might be affecting your life.
Attachment wounds can exacerbate issues like rejection sensitive dysphoria.
Dialectical behavior therapy
Combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness. Designed to help you manage intense emotions, improve relationships, and reduce self-destructive behaviors.
Emotion-focused therapy
Helps you become more aware of and process your emotions. Useful for improving emotional regulation and deepening relationships. Will help you lessen the impact big emotions have on you.
Somatic therapy
Integrates body awareness into talk therapy. Focuses on how trauma and stress are stored in your body and uses movement, breathwork, or touch to release tension and helps you regulate your nervous system, process trauma and regulate your emotions.
Different types of somatic therapy exist, like Somatic Experiencing, movement therapy etc.
Internal Family Systems
Views the mind as made up of different ‘parts’ (like inner critics or protectors), that are all a part of you for a reason - to protect you. Helps you understand and heal these inner parts to understand your inner landscape and feel more emotionally balanced.
Compassion-focused therapy
Aims to increase self-compassion, reduce self-criticism, and soothe the nervous system. Blends cognitive-behavioral therapy with practices from mindfulness.
EMDR
A trauma therapy that uses eye movements or bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer feel overwhelming.
Art therapy
Uses creative expression like drawing, painting, or sculpting to explore emotions, reduce stress, and process trauma. Especially helpful when words are hard to find, or if you’re generally a person who likes to express yourself creatively.
Dance/movement therapy
Uses body movement and dance to support emotional, cognitive, and physical integration. Can help you express emotions, release stress, and connect more deeply with yourself. Movement helps regulate your nervous system.
Behavioral activation therapy
A part of cognitive behavioral therapy. Encourages you to engage in meaningful activities to boost your mood and break patterns of avoidance. Essentially helps you act on things that make you feel better - even when you’re not in the mental space to do so.
Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy
Combines mindfulness practices with cognitive therapy. Helps you break the cycle of negative thinking, especially for people with recurring depression or anxiety and shift your thought pattern.